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Kristin Chenoweth
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FHM Magazine Cover--Kristin Chenoweth

The buttoned-up star of The West Wing loses her business suit

Kristin Chenoweth is a woman of contradictions. She’s 4’11 and tips the scales at 95 pounds, yet she sports an Amazonian’s curves. She’s a Tony-award winning Broadway star who sells out Carnegie Hall with a crystalline, classically-trained voice, but is a diva with decidedly un-tony tastes in restaurants (“Don’t be takin’ me to ‘nice’ restaurants, anything I can’t pronounce—I like Applebee’s, Arbees, and Dairy Queen!”). Though a proudly-out Christian girl, the 37-year-old forged her way playing Nicole Kidman’s naughty neighbor in Bewitched and the not-so Glinda the Good in the original cast of the Broadway smash, Wicked. And, though, she’s as sweet a Southern girl as you’re likely to meet, if you dare try to pick-up her up with a line like, “Are you an angel or am I dead?” she’ll fire back, “I think you’re dead.”

Raised by an Okie oil man and his home-making wife in the tiny, Tulsa suburb of Broken Arrow, Kristin was singing gospel music at her Southern Baptist church from early childhood, until, after getting her Masters degree at Oklahoma State University, the funny girl aced her first New York audition. Since winning her Tony in ’99 she’s multi-tasked across the entertainment universe. She’ll be singing onstage with Placido Domingo in Washington, D.C., this spring, she’s currently finishing up her second season as Annabeth Schott on The West Wing and her third album is in the works. Plus, it’s about to become a Kristin Chenoweth world at the multiplex: She’s currently appearing on the big screen along Steve Martin in The Pink Panther (“He’s hot because he’s funny—if a guy’s not funny, forget about it, I’m bored stiff”) and next month, she’ll headline with Robin Williams in RV before returning in Running With Scissors this fall.

With all that work, it’s no wonder Kristin is single. Or is it her cartoon-like speaking voice that’s the problem?

“I don’t suck helium—this is how I actually sound,” Kristin says. “If you want someone with a husky, sexy voice then you should call Demi Moore. If you want Betty Boop, I’m happy to oblige.” And as a bonus, there would be no Ashton Kutcher to suffer. Sounds perfect us.

TELL US ABOUT YOUR FIRST KISS.
It was at Southern Baptist Church Camp—all the naughty things go on there at church camp, you know. (laughs) I was in sixth grade and these girls from this other church go, “You’d look so cute with our friend.” So they introduced us and we snuck away. I remember thinking, “Hmmm, I don’t know what this is—but I definitely like it!”

HAVING NOW HAD A FEW YEARS EXPERIENCE, DESCRIBE THE PERFECT LIPLOCK.
Frst, let me describe an imperfect one which is a lot of slobber, a lot of hard pressing-up against your mouth, and the tongue going really fast. Baaad. A good kiss—especially the first one—should be slow and careful. I’m an old-fashioned girl and I like it when a guy says, “May I kiss you?” It shows respect. Then I’m like, “Heck, yeah!” Because it’s one of the most intimate things you can do—it whets your appetite and, done well, it can make you feel sooo good. I don’t see any sin in that.

DID YOU EVER MAKE OUT WITH A SON OF A PREACHER MAN?
No, dang it! I’ve been waitin’ for my chance!

BEING A GOOD CHRISTIAN GIRL, WHAT’S HOT ABOUT ABSTINENCE?
Because, then, sex becomes ‘forbidden.’ Which makes it even more intense when you finally get it. I don’t judge people who do sleep around, but I think you’re probably going to get hurt—every time out you’re giving a little piece of yourself away and it leaves less of you in your heart. And I’m not saying I haven’t shared things with people that I feel like I shouldn’t have, but I will say that there is not one man that I have given a kiss to that I’m sorry for. And I’m really thankful that I have a lot of me left to give.

YES, YOU DOIS IT TRUE THAT DURING BEWITCHED NICOLE KIDMAN SAID “I WANT YOUR BOOBS!”
Yes, and I was, like, “Don’t even go there Miss-porcelain-skin-and-legs as-tall-as-my-whole-person!” I would take one of her legs, just one! I mean, I’ve always just wanted to have a normal sized foot. (laughs) I’ve been complaining my whole life that if I were tall people would say I was ‘gorgeous,’ but, because I’m little, they say “cute as a button” and “adorable.” But, as my mom says, “At least, they’re not callin’ you a bitch.”

WHY ARE GUYS SO BREAST-FOCUSSED?
I don’t know, ‘cause I’m surprised they can even see mine, I’m so short. (laughs) But men are very visual creatures—they like leg, they like chest. But, well, (sputters)….I don’t know why! I don’t get the fascination! There! That’s my answer!

DO YOU OFTENTIMES FIND GUYS TALKING TO YOUR CHEST?
All the time. Most of the time when that happens, I just take my finger, point to my face, and say, “I’m up here—don’t be afraid to look at my face!”

DO YOU HAVE TO DOWNSIZE THE MEN YOU DATE, OR DO YOU GO FOR TALL GUYS?
Yes, I’m a super-size-me kind of gal. I mean, I love men any height, but I do prefer a taller guy. And you know what? Most taller men don’t seem to mind the short petite girl. I don’t know if that’s because it makes them feel even more big and they love that or…..yep, that’s probably it. ‘Cause men’s egos are out of control. (laughs)

ARE MEN INTIMATED BY AMBITIOUS WOMEN LIKE YOURSELF?
Yes. And I truly like to be a girlie girl—I mean, after all, pink is my all-time favorite color—but I’ve got so much going on that I also need respect and compromise and all that. And I do believe that, ultimately, men like to be taken care of. And I like to be that woman. I mean, at the end of the day, what man doesn’t want a woman to say, “Hey, roll over, let me rub your back.”? I just think that’s what a guy needs. And I truly want to be able to give someone everything, but I just haven’t mastered the work and the love thing yet. But I’m going to get better, I promise.

YOUR BEDTIME COMPANION IS A MALTESE. HOW ARE DOGS PREFERABLE TO MEN?
You don’t have to get dressed up for ‘em, they just love ya. They don’t care if your hair extensions are falling out or if your breath stinks. ‘Cause more than likely, theirs does, too. (laughs)

IF YOU DO GET DRESSED TO KILL, WHAT’S THE OUTFIT?
The mini-skirt with the boots is always good.

YOU’VE PLAYED A LOT OF BAD GIRLS. ARE YOU EVER ENVIOUS OF THEM?
Oh, definitely. I just wouldn’t do the things they’ve done. But I get to live vicariously through them. Somewhere deep down it’s in me.

MAYBE YOU’D BE A GIRL-LOVING BAD GIRL? AFTER ALL,YOU ARE PLAYING A LESBIAN IN THE UPCOMING RUNNING WITH SCISSORS. DID YOU DO ANY IN-DEPTH RESEARCH.
(laughs) That’s one part of the acting that I did not research. Although I did kiss Annette in Running with Scissors.

HOW WAS MS. BENING AS A KISSER?
Very good. But I said to her, “You know what? Unless you’re taking me to a dinner and movie, that’s as far as this is going.”

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Brantley D. Bardin
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