WHO
OF THE PLANETS HOTTEST WOMEN IS IT EVER DICEY WHEN YOU AND YOUR WIFE
[CATHERINE ZETA-JONES] RUN INTO ONE OF THEM?
No,
because I learned a lesson a long time ago that you dont fool around
with your leading ladies.
SO
JUST BECAUSE YOUVE SUCKLED SHARON STONES AND GLENN CLOSES
NIPPLES ONSCREEN DOESNT MEAN
Exactly.
(laughs) Or just because you go down there it doesnt mean youre
actually down there.
ITS
JUST AN AMAZING ILLUSION! HEY, WILL YOU BE SEEING THE INSTINCT SEQUEL?
I
dont know if Ill be the first in line, but sure. They asked me
[to do it] a few years ago, but when you think youve done something
pretty well, its tough to go there again. Plus my ass was saggin
enough back in the first one.(laughs)
SO
WHATS IT TAKE TO GET YOU IN A MOVIE THESE DAYS?
Just
good stuffbut its harder to drag yourself out of
the house, you know? Things are nice when youve got a good marriageand
if youre gonna have kids at this age [61], why not enjoy them? And I
love doing my stuff for the United Nations, too [Douglas is a U.N. Ambassador
of Peace].
THOUGH
I HEAR THERES A POSSIBLE SEQUEL IN THE WORKS FOR GORDON GEKKO, THE WALL
STREET VILLAIN WHO SCORED YOU A BEST ACTOR OSCAR.
Its
in the early stages, but, hopefully, well get it together. Itll
probably start with him coming out of jail and, with all this globalization
stuff now, Id imagine hell be in some kind of globalized scam,
raping and pillaging some country. (chuckles)
BUT
PEOPLE WILL STILL IDOLIZE THE BASTARD, WONT THEY?
Oh,
yeah, theyll love it!
LETS
TALK KIRK. I ONCE ASKED YOUR DAD IF HE EVER WOKE UP AND FOUND
LINT IN HIS CLEFT CHIN AND
Oh,
my god, I dont want to tell you what hes found in that! Like,
did he say hed found a pube in there?
MICHAEL!
(laughs)
Okay, hang on, lets do a little thing about Kirk that wont get
us in a lot of trouble. Well, for me, the great memories were visiting him
in Beverly Hills with, like, Burt Lancaster, Gregory Peck, Tony Curtis and
all those guys. I remember them all asking each other who was the hottest
actress theyd all worked with and they all credited Jean Simmons as
the inherently sexiest.
WHO
WAS YOUR HOTTEST ACTRESS FANTASY BACK THEN?
Barbara
Stanwyck. And Ava Gardner wasnt too bad, either. She reminds me of Catherine.
WHICH
MAKES ME ASK: HOW DO YOU KEEP UP WITH A WOMAN 25 YEARS YOUR JUNIOR?
I
finally gave up smoking. (laughs)
SO
HOW DOES THIS GUY WHO ONCE CALLED HIMSELF AN ADRENALINE JUNKIE
GET HIS CHEAP THRILLS THESE DAYS?
Lets
see
.well, I guess I could play golf in a lightning storm. That would
be fun.
OKAY,
QUICK: TELL US THREE THINGS A MAN SHOULD LEARN FROM YOUR FILMS.
Dont
turn your back on an angry wife. Screwing has repercussions. And, for gods
sake, keep a sense of humor.
WHATS
THE WEIRDEST COMPLIMENT YOUVE EVER RECEIVED FROM A FAN?
Someone
said they liked my underarm hair. I nodded and kept moving.
ANY
OF YOUR MOVIES YOUD LIKE TO BURN THE NEGATIVE TO?
Thank
goodness I have my one copy of my student film on masturbation locked up somewhere.
WHATS
IT CALLED?
Jew
Gone Bad.
©
2015 Brantley Bardin. All Rights Reserved.
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