COMIC LEGEND WHO HAS MADE WOMEN PEE IN THEIR PANTY HOSE IS NOW IN LOVE WITH
62 YEARS OF COMEDY, YOUVE GOT 12 EMMYS, DIRECTED 15 FILMS, WRITTEN FIVE
BOOKS, AND NOW, AT 79, ARE COSTARRING WITH BRAD, GEORGE, AND JULIA IN OCEANS
ELEVEN. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TRYING TO PROVE?
Its not to prove anything, its just to keep living. And Oceans
Eleven was so much fun, I couldnt believe it. I fell in love with
George Clooney. The word mensch comes to mind. And I think Steven Soderberg
may actually be a genius. But to answer your question, first of all, you have
to do all the natural functions to livethat means eat, sleep,
kaka, and whatever. Kaka is a Jewish word for shit,
by the way. [laughs] But if you can add some creative things in there, well,
it makes it much more exciting.
IF YOURE A LEGEND.
living legends never think of themselves as legendsor
if you do, you then think, How come a legend like me is peeing
slower than I did two years ago?
RETURN TO THE DAYS WHEN YOU WERE A STAR AND WRITER ON SID CAESARS YOUR
SHOW OF SHOWS. MEL BROOKS HAS SAID THAT SID COULD KILL A BUICK WITH
HIS BARE HANDS. REALLY?
was extremely strong, but he never, um, hurt any of us. [laughs] But he did
things that people talk about to this daylike the story of when
he was riding with his wife in Central Park and the horse almost knocked her
to the ground. Sid got up, said, Dont do that! and punched
the horse in the mouth. True story.
CREATED THE DICK VAN DYKE SHOW BASED ON YOUR EXPERIENCES THERE, AND
ITS PROBABLY WHAT YOULL ALWAYS BE BEST KNOWN FOR. IS THAT COOL
is it everthat show defined me, and its the only thing
thats gonna outlive me! This morning I flipped on TV Land and there
was the walnut episode, the one where walnuts are taking over the world and
you lose your thumbs AND your sense of humorits one of
SON HAS SURE DONE WELL. IN FACT, YOURE SOMETIMES IDD AS ROB
REINERS FATHER AND
to be able to be somebodys parent is thrilling. I
mean, Ive had my day in the sun, and, God, they keep giving me awards,
so I really dont feel passed bythe one I couldnt
believe was a couple of years ago when they gave Mel [Brooks] and me a Grammy
[for The 2000 year Old Man in the Year 2000]. A Grammy for these two
old farts?! We couldnt believe it!
HAVE THINGS NOT GONE YOUR WAY?
of my favorite things Ive written was a Broadway play, Something
Different, and it only lasted 100 performances. But two great things happened
afterwards. First, Joan Hackett, whom Id never met, came up to me on
the street and said, I laughed so hard in act one that I peed and it
went down my panty hose, but I came back for the second act and sat there
with squishy shoes. Now, thats a compliment you cannot forget.
Then, this Englishman came up and said, Do you see this scar? I laughed
so hard at your play that I racked my head on the seat in front of me, and
it started to bleed, but I would not miss the second act, so I went to the
emergency room for stitches afterward. [laughs] Now I tell people, When
you can draw blood and piss from an audience, youve done it! Hmmm
if only I could get somebody to actually die laughing, Id REALLY have
THAT MEAN YOURE GOING TO KEEP TRYING TIL YOU KEEL OVER?
sure. And if that means a hundred, Ill take it. But only if Im
healthy, you know? No dribbling, please.
2015 Brantley Bardin. All Rights Reserved.